Friday, May 6, 2016

My Favorite Thing To Do With My Mommy

My 4yr old made me a banner at school this week for Mother's Day.  It had a sweet hand print, an adorable picture of him and a statement about his favorite thing to do with his mommy.  I was all smiles until I got to the end of it.  "My favorite thing to do with my mommy is watch TV."  WATCH...TV.  WHAT??  Ok, I know one of his teachers asked him the question while he was in the middle of something extremely fun and he likely spouted off the first thing that came to his mind, but this one kind of hurt.  My dear, sweet, eldest son Noah is my best friend.  He cooks dinner with me almost every night, he and I read special big boy books every night after his brother is in bed, I swim in a freezing cold pool with him every Sunday, yesterday I had Master Christopher teach ME a couple of freakin' Tae Kwon Do moves so I could practice with him. I am not a perfect mother, but of all the things I do with him, him choosing TV was not something I immediately understood.  Heck, most of the time I'm reminding him and his brother that they can only watch one or two shows on weekdays, and I'm not even with them while they do it,  I'm finishing working, showering or putting dinner on the table.  But sometimes, if I'm ahead of my game with work or we're eating leftovers or I decide not to shower (ha, sorry, it happens), and most certainly on the weekends when we watch a movie or something as a family, I AM with them while they watch.  Noah and his little brother will take turns cuddling with me under a soft Star Wars blanket and we lay there, quiet, squeezing, hugging, tickling and laughing.  Noah calls me his "cuddle girl" and will give me lots of kisses and will tell me he loves me and that he loves "hangin' out" with his family.  His brother will move him out of the way to have a cuddle-turn and I will always gladly make room in my arms for both.  It is, well, awesome.  We do a lot of fun, quality things together everyday, but 2 and 4yr old boys are rarely quiet and still.  And, really, neither are their mamas.  It occurred to me that he must appreciate a time when I'm not on the move, or talking to (or at) them, a time when his mom is just quiet and still with him.  I can close my eyes in those moments when I am laying with them and feel, truly down deep in my soul, that there's no place I would rather be, nothing that makes me feel quite as full.  I have those moments when I'm watching them play together outside or when we're doing fun,active things together, too.  But the special-ness of a close cuddle on the couch - I get it.  And I realize my ability to cuddle with them in this way won't last forever.  We'll (hopefully) always eat together and play sports and go on fun trips.  But one day, they'll be too big to lay with me on the couch.  They won't even want to.  And I'll long for the day that my sweet babies just wanted to be super close to me more than anything else in the world.  For me, that will never end.  Thinking about it in that way, perhaps my favorite thing to do with my sons is watch TV, too.